Zhen Kaini

Name : Zhen Kaini
Birthday : 14 Sept
Height : 159cm
Measurement : 32-27-35
Shoe Size : 37.5
Eye Colour : Dark Brown
Hair Colour : Brown

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

its been an up and down roller coaster ride mth.Nigel wants me to go back to imran knowing that i still cant get over him. Nigel thinks that imran bcame like this so that he can ease himself from me but deep now he still misses me. Nigel, the love guru. anyway, finding out truths from a 3rd party, be it reliable anot, im not sure. absolutely forced me to wake up. things is kinda complicated in here.

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Detective Moysey read my blog and was heartbroken. he wants me to go back to Mr CM. So he decided to take Mr CM number from my phone and call him. he hanged up before deciding to become a detective to make sure im in good hand.

Detective Moysey called Mr Teo for research. Ms Tan picked up (according to Detective Moysey). *i dont know how the conversation went as i was sound asleep still* so this is what Detective Moysey sumed up.

Detective Moysey: i thought Mr CM is a nice guy but i was wrong.

Me: huh? what happen?

Detective Moysey: Mr Teo n Ms Tan just got back together.

Me: ?? but i thought Mr CM and Ms Tan are together??? (i was very sure cos Mr CM pictures/status and personally told me) how you know Mr Teo and Ms Tan together?

Detective Moysey: Ms Tan picked up Mr Teo phone and Mr Teo told me that they are back together.

Me: hmmm ok...

Detective Moysey: Mr Teo and me/Mr Teo conclude that Mr CM is quite Fcuked up.

Me: What he did?

Detective Moysey: As you know Mr CM definitely will tell Ms Tan everything and Ms Tan will tell Mr Teo. from Mr Teo, Mr CM tells Ms Tan that both his ex gfs (me and Ms Jap) still misses him.

Me: *wtf look*

Detective Moysey: yup. Mr CM says he's the lucky ones that got both girls still "gaga" over him. i wonder what he put in the both of you that make you miss him

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Seriously?!?! what is Mr CM trying to prove? is it one of his ways to get a gal fast so that the gal will grab "the opportunity"? why is Mr CM so proud of it?? why is Mr CM hinting me stuffs before he started dating/wooing Ms Tan? whats is Mr CM thinking?!

Cabin crews is small, news spread like wild fire...

that instance i swear i despise Mr CM. maybe he's the leopard that will never change his ways of womanizing...Mr CM why did you turn out to be like this???

Sign Off @ 9:55 PM Kaini

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I bumped into him today. I chose to hide away. I dont know why I still don't have the courage/strength to look at him and behave like nothing has ever happened. He's happily attached now. And me... I must be happy. I must stay focus. Although I miss him, I believe I'll be able to brush off all that.

Sign Off @ 4:49 PM Kaini

Friday, February 3, 2012

i got call up to the city of romance again. spend abt $280 euro =) time to snooze... nite...

Sign Off @ 4:59 AM Kaini

Saturday, January 28, 2012

maybe, its not just me, alone.
maybe, he's just "shopping" for a girl
maybe, he's drunk
maybe, its all make up stories
maybe, its painful
maybe, im just numb
maybe, he finally got wat he always wanted
maybe, i just wanna get distracted

............

today i wish i was being call up for long flight. i dont wanna stay in singapore. its his 25th bday. i wanna get distracted. pls... i must keep myself bz i must find things to do

i dont know wheres my relationship heading. but i think nigel knows. i hate the fact that im torturing him and he has to endure the treatment. i love him but it not enough. i cant push my love anymore, its my max. but i know i have so much more to give. i cant. i cant do this =( i cant be tt selfish. im not ready aft so many yrs. im worried its a rebound relationship, i tried not to think about it.

sometime i feel stressed when i know i cant afford to make another mistake.

its me, always me. im the cause.

Sign Off @ 12:05 AM Kaini

Friday, January 27, 2012

i dun wanna lift myself up and get throw down flat on my face cos it will hurts and realise tts all the wishful thinking. its not happening.

Sign Off @ 3:52 AM Kaini

Thursday, January 26, 2012

i think it kinda contradicting when people tells me one thing and i see other thing... i have doubts in the words projected. yet, i wish i can believe every single words ones says.

im gonna be cool and calm myself down cos i think my heart might skip a beat. "if only u mean wat u say." i thought to myself.

miss u.

Sign Off @ 9:32 PM Kaini

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Here's some of the qns that i found on this blog(http://motifsonthewall.blogspot.com/).

Qns:Do you ever truly get over the most intense relationship in your life?
Ans:No

Qns:Has the person you love more than anything in the world left you?
Ans: Yes

Qns:Did the two of you break up?
Ans: Yes

Qns:Have you been dumped, slighted, walked out on, or deserted for another?
Ans: i screwed up

Qns:Does your heart ache and ache endlessly?
Ans: Yes

Qns: Have you lost sleep, your appetite, or even your job?
Ans: definitely not job, but i used to lost sleep n appetite.

Qns: Are you caught in the grief?
Ans: yes

Qns: You always remember the love which gave you the most happiness, that person who swept you off your feet?
Ans: Yes

Qns: Even though your relationship came to an end, is it ever possible to forget?
Ans: not possible to forget it completely

Qns: Can you move on completely, or do you compare all future relationships to your "special" love?
Ans: At times i try not to compare...

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i felt like home the other day, been so long... laughters joys tears in the house.. i have offers but i reject it. i dont regret it. we were young n silly, met each other at the wrong time. they say that when you find " The One", you know straight away. i knew it, but i blew it away.

Sign Off @ 3:13 AM Kaini